My almost 8-year-old niece recently passed away. A car hit her as it was backing out of the driveway next door. The neighborhood was noisy so she did not hear the car coming. The car was older and did not have a back-up camera. Her family is advocating for older cars to have backup cameras installed in them.
In a lot of ways, I’m not sure what to say or what to do. It's felt more like we were all existing as we went through the motions. Trying to find the right balance of being helpful and of service, while allowing space for people to be alone and grieve as needed. Our family, the school, and the community have all been great about both.
Even though I’m feeling unsure of how to process, I know I want to document this. I will want to come back and find these important memories as we become more capable of processing everything.
We arrived in town on Wednesday
On Thursday my oldest daughter and I had the honor of going to the funeral home to make molds of Hazel’s hand. I was able to hold her little hand in mine as I rubbed the oil on her skin to ensure it did not stick to the mold. Since we live out of state, I had not been there with her in the hospital. So this was a very special moment for me to have with her. While we waited for the mold to set; we spoke to her, my daughter read the first few chapters of a book she thought Hazel would have liked (Keeper of the Lost Cities), and I played a song for Hazel that I wished I had sung for her before she passed away in the hospital (Each life that Touches ours for Good).
Her parents put together a beautiful celebration of life funeral service on Friday. Everyone was invited to bring a bunny stuffed animal and wear Hazel’s favorite color, light purple. There were so many people who came, the line wrapped around the building.
The ward went above and beyond to serve our family in preparing decorations the day before, serving food for a family luncheon after the internment, and hosting another family luncheon the following day for Hazel’s twin sister’s baptism.
Over the next week, my daughter and I continued work on the molds of Hazel's hand and created a cast for Hazel’s parents from the molds we made. I ordered a special box to put the hand cast in, so they can open it up on their time and have a special place to keep it if they are not ready to put it on display.
Here are some of the photos and memories I have of Hazel from the family fun we’ve had together over the years.
Beach trips to Pacific Beach
(including her special stuffed animal Hop Hop)
I remember this moment. Hazel's parents were celebrating their anniversary during the beach trip one year. So I stayed in the house watching the girls for their nap while their parents tried to get lunch and enjoy a date outside. Hazel woke up and was so happy to play with me. I think her sister was not thrilled to have her parents out of the house. ha ha ha.
another year Sam drove her bumper car so she could get a ride.
and she rode the slick track with Gwendolyn.
Watching Football games together, even through Covid
Playing around at Grandma & Grandpa’s House.
Here she is in her Moana outfit. She LOVED to wear her character nightgowns as everyday clothes. Her favorite character was always Rapunzle.
Celebrating special events together
On the day she was born my sister and I drove out to the hospital to meet her and her sister.
Congratulating Sam at his Husky Stadium promotion ceremony to be a Commander.
Danny meeting Hazel at the hospital for the first time. He shares a birthday with the twins.
I am not sure if this picture is from the last time we went to the playground with Hazel, because she and Tobias look a bit younger than I remember. However, it reminds me of the last time we went to the playground together.
It was a Sunday afternoon, my family was visiting Washington and staying at Grandma and Grandpa Bryant's house. We saw Hazel and her family at church, but decided we needed more time together, so after lunch, we met up at a playground. The twins wanted me to play on a 4 person teeter-totter with them. Instead of having 2 seats on each end, it was more square shaped, with a seat on each corner. I was too big and weighed it down when I sat on just 1 of the seats. So they convinced me to put one foot on each seat, my hands on the cross bars, and wiggle in a way that felt like a booty dance so they could bounce up and down on the teeter-totter. I felt so silly, but they were having a great time, so I began to sing a bouncing song I remembered from when my girls were younger. it was called "boingy, boingy, boingy, bing" from Dora the explorer. After one or two verses of the song I was exhausted form trying to keep up with the rhythm as I did the booty dance. We all had a good laugh and eventually listened to some of their new favorite songs from the K-Pop Demon Hunters movie they loved so much.
This was a 4th of July party at Hazel's home. Stacy's family and my Family were both invited as guests. Hazel, Ivy, and Emma were building a house of wooden blocks right at the top of the stairs into the house. They had such a great time, and were building for quite a while. When I showed this picture to her parents they smiled and said that she always loved to build houses and play house.
This one is one of my favorite memories of her. Especially because I remember it so clearly.
We decided that to honor our grandfather who had died a year before, my siblings and I were going to take our kids out to play mini golf (Grandpa Larry was an avid golfer)
It was August or September, and WAY too hot to be out in the sun. everyone was trying to find ways to escape the heat. The little girls all hid in this caboose for shade, but once Hazel realized I was snapping pictures, she was thrilled to perk up and smile for the camera. She loved being a star and was charismatic.
In fact, after her passing, I heard more than once that she was so charismatic that she was the most popular girl in 2nd grade at her school. Ivy said there were lots of boys who liked Hazel, but Hazel was not interested in any of them. Ha, ha, ha.
We love you Hazel
